I’m not going to waste your time telling you the joke
about the summary of all Jewish holidays.
(Okay, maybe just parenthetically in the unlikely event you don’t know it: They tried to kill us. They failed. Let’s eat.)
Every sentence of this section
of this Torah portion is about eating.
We are instructed to eat.
We are instructed what to eat.
We are instructed how to eat.
We are instructed where to eat.
Nothing is left to question.
If one of the great mysteries of your life
has been where and how to eat
The Breast of Waving, then this is your moment.
(Also if you didn’t know there was a
breast of waving, and for that matter
a thigh of raising, I’m only too happy
to share this information.)
Everything Jewish begins with, ends with
or is composed of eating.
Even the times we are not supposed to eat
culminate with eating.
We can’t get away from it. (Nor do we want to!)
I may take a break from writing this to have a snack.
Okay, I’m back. I hope you’re not hungry.
You should really eat something.
You’re starting to look a little thin.
Are you wearing enough sweaters
And for heaven’s sake, write down
all the details of the recipe.
You don’t want your descendants screwing it up
You should eat.
You should eat right now.