Virtual Shabbat

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Thanks to the virus, all our friends and synagogues
are taking to the internet to beam Shabbat to us in the
privacy of our own homes where, hopefully
the toilet paper is plentiful. Bidet HasShem!

There are so many choices and here you are
listening to this.

I’m reminded of the joke of the man alone on the deserted island
who builds two synagogues. When he’s finally rescued, they ask him
why did you build two? And he replies, this is the one I attend
and this is the one I wouldn’t set foot in.

We Jews have needs. We can’t have our yin without our yang.
If two of us are in a room and there are only two opinions
something is not right.

So choose your virtual service wisely.
Consider the benefits – When the rabbi says please rise
you don’t even have to. They’ll never know!

Sing as loud as you want! No-one but the cat
will judge you. Don’t have a cat? Talk to me
I’ve got extras.

You should still turn your cell phones off.
Unless you’re watching this on your cell phone
in which case you should ask Moses what to do.
Seriously, go to askmoses.com – they’re waiting for you.

When the prayer for healing comes along, remember
it’s also for you. We always forget it’s for us.
We’re getting to the point where there are too many names
to remember to speak out loud.

For the basketball players who have nothing to do.
For the teachers who are rewriting their life’s work for virtual classrooms
For the doctors and nurses who are spreading thin.
For the hospitals which are running out of rooms
For the people across the oceans who are told they can’t cross the oceans.
For the empty shelves.

As a summer camp Jew I almost don’t know how to pray
without wrapping my arms around the person next to me.
Fist bumps and elbows aren’t quite the same thing.

Here’s to the world yet to come when we can
feel each other’s warmth – hold each other again.

How does a people who yearns to pray with our feet
pray when we’re asked to keep our feet at home?

Like this.
Like this.

These poems are offered free for your enjoyment. If you use them as part of an event, meeting, educational or liturgical setting, please consider tipping the author.

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