NSFW – A poem for Parsha Metzora (Aliyah 6)

These poems are offered free for your enjoyment. If you use them as part of an event, meeting, educational or liturgical setting, please consider tipping the author.

Share this poem:

And anyone who touches them shall become unclean…

The context of this text is not suitable for work.
The context of this text should be kept away
from young children.

Woe is the bar mitzvah boy who is not ready
to read this text, but somehow has to in front of
his family and friends … and explain it.

The bat mitzvah girl may do okay. It’s a known fact
girls mature faster than boys. I, myself, am still
a toddler next to the wisdom of my wife.

There are words in this text not suitable for
a wider audience. Even the majority of the
narrow audience would prefer not to discuss it.

The don’t forget to wash your hands signs
don’t quite cover what’s going on here.
Suffice it to say the mikveh industry is making bank.

Suffice it to say if you don’t have mikveh money
you should spend a lot of time in the shower.
Or find an ocean, or a river or at least a pond

where things flow freely. Where the creatures
of the pond breathe the water and the ecosystem
is intact. See how we’ve pivoted to nature.

We can always talk about nature, and its beauty.
The clouds, the forest, the aurora borealis!
Everyone wants to talk about the aurora borealis!

But not the images in this text. Diseases and
discharges. I’ve already said too much.
The mikveh people are knocking at my door.

I’m writing them a check.
I’m changing my clothes.
I’m jumping in the ocean.

These poems are offered free for your enjoyment. If you use them as part of an event, meeting, educational or liturgical setting, please consider tipping the author.

Share this poem: