Steps to a successful covenant:
Get the people involved.
A monetary investment will create
a sense of ownership.
A half shekel should do it.
But don’t give them grief if
they can’t pay. There is no
source of income in the desert.
Use local artisans.
Anyone can make a box, a square,
a portable room. But if you want to make
a normal space sacred. you’ll need an
artist’s sensibility. See if Bezalel is available.
He does good work
and is reasonable.
Make sure they include the practicals.
So much illness could be prevented
if we just remembered to wash our hands.
Don’t succumb to impatience.
Impatience will lead to you
melting down your family jewelry.
You’ll start to mold it into animal shapes
like a panda, or a calf even.
Try to remember the panda’s eyes
are just your aunt Gertie’s wedding ring
and not a sign of true divinity.
If your leader comes down the mountain
a day or two later than expected
don’t freak out. There was probably traffic
or the meeting ran long. If he throws
the tablets at you, you probably
ignored section IV.
When your leader comes down the mountain
again, tells you he just successfully argued
against your complete annihilation,
believe him. The beams of light projecting
off his face are a sign he’s telling the truth.
A few quick reminders: Don’t melt anything
into the shape of anything else (again.) And
definitely don’t worship it if you do.
Out of respect for mothers everywhere,
don’t mix milk and meat. Here’s a little secret:
all mammals are lactose intolerant after
they’re weened from their mothers. I’m
serious about this.
Take a day off. Every week.
You won’t find the Holy One dwelling amongst
you if you’re still checking your email
on Saturday. But if you turn it off
let the day of rest envelop you
you’ll find They were right there all along
right where They promised to be.