They shall not make bald patches on their heads, nor shall they shave the edge of their beard, nor shall they make cuts in their flesh.
What’s an up and coming priest supposed to
do at a party if not shave themselves partially bald
in between drinking games and the ever-popular
trimming off the edge of their beard hazing ritual?
I’ve seen rabbis with tattoos. I’ve seen rings
dangling out of the flesh of the holiest people.
I agree we shouldn’t cut ourselves, but a little
individual expression can light the way to holiness
rather than be the stumbling block they’re
making it out to be.
They shall not marry a woman who is a prostitute or who is desecrated, and they shall not marry a woman who is divorced from her husband
Oh, Alabama, this is where you got all your ideas.
This ancient text, written by ancient men who
left no room for exceptions
of any kind.
A woman divorced is defiled
A woman raped is defiled
A woman who is a widow is defiled
A woman who is not a virgin is defiled
A priest shall not marry a woman who is defiled,
as if his holiness could possibly supersede hers.
Oh, Alabama, who am I, a man, to
comment on the holiness of women?
And the answer, Alabama, is no-one.
So keep your banjos on your own knees,
you unholy man.