After reading Exodus 22:4-26
Some of our best laws are here –
If a fire goes forth and finds thorns . . .
. . . then congratulate the fire for
living above its expectations and
finding what it needs.
If a man gives his neighbor a donkey
for safekeeping . . .
I’ve been dreaming of receiving
donkeys with all the trust implied.
I’ve been imagining a safe donkey-shelter
in my backyard for years.
If a person borrows an animal
from his neighbor . . .
It’s way above the cup of sugar
level to borrow a cow from
Nancy down the street.
You shall not allow a sorceress to live.
All I’ve been doing, for decades,
is allowing sorceresses to live.
If You must, take me now, Oh God
for this transgression. I just really like
the way they can make things disappear.
Whoever lies with an animal shall surely be put to death.
Or at least don’t take video of it.
You know that’s going to get out
and if this is why you were borrowing
an animal to begin with, it’s a real problem.
If you take your neighbor’s garment as security . . .
. . . then you are known as Linus
and you are a cherished member
of our shared cultural heritage.
Just, please, return it, along with the
sheep you’ve been borrowing.
There are laws about sharing
coming along. I promise I won’t
leave you out in the cold.