Va'era — and I appeared
And I appeared like blood in the river –
The kind of thing you’d want to
call a plumber about, or maybe
the Army Corps of Engineers.
No one liked my party trick.
And I appeared like frogs –
who seem magical enough when
you see them, but unexpected
and in such large numbers
the population hid their flies from me.
And I appeared like lice –
which almost prevented my kid
being admitted to summer camp
but they had a system and
it just took a credit card
and I was on my way.
And I appeared like wild beasts –
and I don’t really know what
the problem was as from
all the videos I’ve seen, wild beasts
just want to be our friends.
I just want to be your friend.
And I appeared like pestilence –
I didn’t want to, but I wanted
to be convincing. I had all the cards
so I knew it wouldn’t work
And I appeared like boils –
On everyone…The wait times at Kaiser
were out of control. Skin cream prices
shot up like rockets. The entire
homeopathic movement was invented.
I didn’t do it for the money.
I did it because it needed doing.
And I appeared like hail –
Coming soon to an atmosphere near you –
Things falling out of the sky. It’s impressive.
I just want to gather you close
and be impressive. I want you
to tell me you’re impressed.
Is this not working?
Wait ’til you see
what I’ve got planned
next.