Nosferatu’s Got Nothing On Us – A poem for parsha Shemini (Aliyah 1)

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This is the thing the Lord has commanded; do [it],
and the glory of the Lord will appear to you.

What benefits come with the
Glory of the Lord? I’d like to
consider them against the

task of slaughtering animals.
Is there a vegetarian option that
gets me to the same place?

I can’t look into the eyes of
the Lord, but I can see the pupils
in every unblemished ox and ram.

Is there another way, like in high school
when I didn’t want to pull the skin
off a dead frog, and got to

watch a video instead?
I revel in the glory of all God’s creatures
I run my fingers through their fur.

The look in their eyes as
I comfort them, is all the glory
I’ll ever need.


And Aaron’s sons brought forward the blood to him,
and he dipped his finger into the blood

Nothing says family bonding
more than having your children
bring you a container of blood.

How lovely they get to witness
as you organize the fat, the kidneys,
the diaphragm and the liver.

Think of how they’ll describe it
to their children…their fondest
memories of youth watching

dad, such an important man,
slaughter and burn, sprinkle
the blood, let it all go up in smoke.

Our sacred literature must have
inspired Bram Stoker. It plays well
at the box office. It’s bloody iconic.

These poems are offered free for your enjoyment. If you use them as part of an event, meeting, educational or liturgical setting, please consider tipping the author.

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