Korach — baldness, ice, hail, or frost
My family is a mutiny of bald people.
A long history of the sun shining on
the skin on top of our heads.
The money we spend on hats
is a rebellion. We should start
the hair club for Jewish men.
Except for Reuben, the first
religious school teacher in
Syracuse, New York. They
didn’t have Photoshop in his day
so I know the picture of his
full head of Jewish hair is real.
Korach was one of the first bald people –
a Levite whose family spawned
the modern day Cohens –
my mother’s maiden name.
The ancient priests shaved their heads
by law, so Korach’s baldness may
have been intentional. But
evolution has made it inevitable.
Our hair itself rebels like Korach
and his 250 mutineers.
The ground swallowed them up
and now all they have is
a great band name. Korach
and the Mutineers – Live at the Whiskey
Discounts for those with receding
hair lines. Refreshments provided
by the source of life itself. The show
starts at 8pm sharp.
If you’re late, you may not be seated
and the ground will swallow you whole.