A Conversation – A Poem for Haftarah Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

These poems are offered free for your enjoyment. If you use them as part of an event, meeting, educational or liturgical setting, please consider tipping the author.

Share this poem:

Did I not bring Israel up
from the land of Egypt?

I think that was You.
They keep telling me
over and over that
it was You.

I will destroy [the sinful kingdom]
from upon the face of the earth.

Is there a way we could teach
without destroying?

I will not destroy the
house of Jacob

I have every confidence this
delights the descendants of
the house of Jacob, and
terrifies the missing descendants
of everyone else.

I will scatter the house of Israel
among all the nations

I know you mean this as
a punishment, but it feels
kind of briar patch to me.
There’s nothing I like more than
to see the spectacles of
other nations.

I will close up [David’s] breaches,
I will raise up its ruins

We’ve all been wanting to
say something about David’s
open breaches, but no-one has
had the balls. As for the ruins,
thank You for that too. Construction
costs have made the project
inaccessible to us.

Behold days are coming, says the Lord,
that the plowman shall meet the reaper

I had a feeling about those two
and I can’t wait to see what comes
from their collaboration.

and the mountains shall drip sweet wine,
and all the hills shall melt

How will this affect the property values?
We’re so fond of the hills and…well, I
guess it will make the bicycles easier
to ride. Would it be alright if we
gathered the wine drippings for
our own purposes?

and they shall plant vineyards
and drink their wine

I didn’t mean to interrupt. I see You were
just getting to the details about the wine.

and they shall no longer be uprooted from
upon their land, that I have given them

I’m ready to lay down my hat.
I’m ready to put my feet in the dirt.
I’m ready to re-familiarize myself with this gift.
I can’t thank You enough.
This is the system the banks
never told me about, but my
father-in-law has been speaking of
this whole time.